USA Cyclocross National Championships 2018 - Reno, Nevada
MABRA Women Crush It!
The problem with making people aware of our goals and dreams is that there is much more heartbreak when things don't work out the way we had hoped. But that's one of the facts of life: things rarely go as planned. Our intended goals aren't always met in a manner that fits into whatever clean, organized, ideal box we have created. It's too bad because life would be so much "easier" if everything just went as planned...except that we wouldn't learn anything, and isn't life also about learning valuable lessons? At least that's what I tell my students. So I should probably start living by my own rules and practicing what I preach.
My 2017-2018 cycling goals revolved around cyclocross season: race Pro/Elite/UCI for Vanderkitten and win a Masters National Championship in January. My primary focus all year was that one race at CX Nats in Reno, NV. Every single workout, race, training session, discussion, and season goal came down to 40-minutes on a chilly morning in Rancho San Rafael Park, Reno. My entire season was riding (pun intended) on 4 laps around a challenging, technical course at 4,500 feet of elevation in the high desert of Nevada. At least that's what I told myself for an entire year, every single second of every single minute of every single day leading up to January 12, 2018:
"All that matters is the stars-and-stripes jersey
because that's all anyone cares about and all anyone remembers."
First of all, that's not true. Most people I talk to who aren't familiar with the cycling world and don't know anything about this crazy niche sport of cyclocross could care less about a stars-and-stripes jersey for a Masters race. If you tell the "average" person that you raced in a National Championship, he or she will be surprised and impressed with the simple fact that you participated in such an event. Second of all, it isn't always about winning and losing (mental note). As my college cross-country running coach, Don Nichter, always says: "The journey is the reward" (he actually has this motto tattooed on his arm). It's the lessons we learn along the way that matter most.
Cyclocross Women's Masters (35-39) Championship - Everyone told me that the altitude would be the greatest challenge in Reno, but it was the sand that got me in the end: I thought I could ride through sand and was actually pretty good at it...apparently not. With 2 laps to go, I made a simple mistake and had to put a foot down which was just enough to give my opponent--who was right on my heels--an opening. She came around me, still mounted, and rode a smooth line through what seemed like quicksand at the time. That's all it took to give her the advantage going into the technical backside of the course, and with one lap to go, she had a substantial lead. That was it. Just like that: one mistake, one foot tap, and I watched my dream ride away. But that's bike racing.
I've revisited the race hundreds of times in my head since then: What did I do wrong? What could I have done differently? Why didn't I do __? Why did I do __? What if? The reality of the situation is that I let my insecurities and fears get the better of me. Essentially, I "freaked out" and forgot everything I had learned about cyclocross and bike racing. That's the irony of it all: you can be 100% prepared and have perfect fitness on the day, but it doesn't matter if you aren't on your mental game. Like most things, it's 50% (or more) mental.
So here's the lesson: "Get your head out of the game!" Wait, what? Exactly! We always hear the popular sports maxim: Get your head IN the game. Well, I disagree. Sometimes you have to get your head OUT OF the game because thinking too much is counterproductive. As my amazing coach, Crystal Anthony, tells me: "Your body deals with all types of stress in the same way; it doesn't discriminate" (I'm paraphrasing here). If that's the case, mental stress affects the body in the same way that physical stress does. Sometimes it's better to stop thinking and just do.
I can't say that I'm satisfied with my performance at CX Nats this year (but I am very rarely satisfied); however, I learned a great deal from the experience and came back the next day to win the Women's Industry race. Although it wasn't the same as standing on the top step with a stars-and-stripes jersey, it felt good to leave it all out there on the course. I stopped thinking and just raced. If only I could do that when it really matters.
Luckily, we get another chance to race 2018 CX Nationals this December in Louisville (round #2). I hope to qualify for the Pro/Elite Women's race and mix it up with our country's best cx female athletes. One day, I will get back into a Masters field and give the coveted S.A.S jersey another shot. I ain't giving up that easily. For now, I'll try not to think too much about it and just ride.
A HUGE thank you to all of my sponsors, supporters, and contributors for making this season--and all those that came before and will come after--possible: Vanderkitten, Entourage Talent Associates, Van Dessel Cycles, Williams Cycling, Hammer Nutrition, HIFI Wheels, Crankbrothers, HandUp Gloves, Ridge Supply, and Haymarket Bicycles.